shit post

life rushes

a few months ago my brother made a baby

her name was isabella

she was born last night

and died shortly after.

even though i never knew her

and haven't met her mother

she was a part of my brother

a part of my extended family and blood.

so many unexpected things

everyday

why can't they all be wonderful?

Seattle seattle seattle :

here has been nice

simple

i still need a job

need one real bad but,

i know it will happen - eventually.

ive been reading a lot

my mind i suppose feels fuller

i miss home

bellingham had its troubles

but goodness

it was quite wonderful.

there is a lot of walking here

bus is expensive and everything is so close

nothing is more thank forty minutes by foot from one another.

there are friends here

but

they all have real jobs

so hanging out isnt what it was in bellingham.

everyone is doing their own thing

and you are expected to do your thing

while they do theirs - and then

you are all expected to meet

maybe

once a month for a drink at a fancy bar.

ive been cooking

and not drinking

its nice really.

still no real internet,

this connection is stolen from a bar on the corner

it works well mostly.

everything is always moving.

(obviously right?)

ive just never been so on my own before

and i miss the little things that pushed me through a day

school

work

friends

those things.

in a few months i know ill be more than content

but right now its hard

nice, interesting, wonderful - but - hard.

oh golly.

life is life is life is -

updike is amazing

chrono trigger is sic.

miss you all

x x

oh hi

i'm a cat.

future goals?!

when things get difficult
just give up and adopt a bunch of cats!

how to successfully survive: :

the last few weeks of class?

how do people remove their personal lives from their school lives?

i haven't been able to figure this out yet

i am so easily distracted by everything else that is in my head the important little things that so often consume me and my thoughts

little bloggy
maybe i'll just visit you more often
get thoughts out over the computer

pizza brings me joy
so does coffee
and the x files

my new favorite thing is sitting in laynes backyard
on her outdoor blankets
drinking the wine in the day time
talking about boys and shit like that
it's really quite wonderful.

this summer i want to go swimming
i want to sit by the ocean
i want to sleep on a lawn
i want to dance with friends
and make jokes while smoking cigarettes and drinking beers
i want hugs
and kisses
and late night conversations over silly videos

i think we can make this happen dudes
don't study just party
shit
i was supposed to make cookies today.

the french -

they really get it
they understand love
life
maybe?
to know that you
would travel into the future
only to go back into the past
to love a woman
who youve never really met
except once or twice
in a park or museum.

oh .
the french.

the other day i remembered that i love
filling a tub full of bath water before
i get in

so often ill sit in the tub while the water rises
rarely do i let the tub fill before i choose to relax inside

the other day i waited and waited
and when i submersed
my body in that steamy tub water
i got it i remembered how wonderful it was
to sit in a tub full of soapy
warm water

remember -
this blog is about love

and god damnit do i love full baths and french people.

jimmy i hope to see you soon.

x

babies are weird!